Puzzle #95: The Cryptic Critic
The Cryptic Critic isn’t satisfied with simple criticism. Each of his reviews must abide by a particular gimmick. Below are seven recent reviews. The first six are paired with the TV show in question. Figure out the gimmick, and you’ll be able to determine what show he’s talking about in the seventh.
On Game of Thrones:
“No one else is even in the same neighborhood as this show when it comes to swordplay, gore, and political backstabbery.”
On Breaking Bad:
“Their cinematography feels like it was done by a thirteen-year-old with a ratty old camcorder.”
On Desperate Housewives:
“Not since Barbara Babcock’s turn as Grace Gardner on Hill Street Blues have I seen women this dangerous … and this seductive.”
On SportsCenter:
“Besides pneumonia, it might be the worst way to spend 30 minutes lying on your living room couch.”
On The Soup:
“The only tastable ingredients are pap, banality and snark. And maybe a pinch of cayenne!”
On Conan:
“The saga of his departure from NBC is the biggest pile of corrupt BS that I’ve ever heard. Glad to see him land on his feet and take off running again.”
On ?????:
“One oughtn’t miss this soap opera… unless one has some laundry to do or a dog whose fur needs washing.”
